For many the goal of male chastity is long term denial. I approve of this goal however, having worked with several chaste males over the years, I have found it more gratifying to keep the situation fluid.
It is so much fun taking someone who is beginning their chastity journey to longer and longer lock ups. Their initial fantasies of lock ups lasting weeks at a time need to be tempered with the physical demands of wearing a device. Once the device can be worn for more extended periods then comes the more detailed orgasm control.
Orgasm denial and control is such a powerful tool that I have now decided that I am no longer interested in permanent denial. I prefer my chaste males know that they may orgasm, they just need to have my permission.
This would seem to be a very simple situation, however as my life is not based on regular hours or days, who knows just when I will be awake, around or remember about such things? This uncertainty I have found adds a certain frisson which I enjoy.
I am not sure that my chaste males enjoy this frisson as much as I do however that is not something that will affect my enjoyment of the situation.
When I first found the fabulous world of male chastity, most of the sites I found had people who were lifestyle proponents. They were interested in being locked as they felt it could enhance their relationship or improve their lifestyle – mainly through cutting down on masturbation.
The plus side of this reduction in masturbation was the improved attention towards partners or Mistresses. With less time being spent on the pointless action of wanking off to porn their attention was focused more on the important things in life.
There is also the added bonus of reducing the constant barrage of female objectification seen in porn. This means that they are no longer seeing women as objects but as partners, lovers and dominants.
I was so excited to find this world where I was treated as something more than a means to fulfilling some sexual fantasy. This was definitely where I needed to be which has been proven over and over again as I delve deeper into the scene.
Things are changing as they always do. More guys are finding this fetish and with them they bring their imagination and fantasies. With so much information coming from the web for people who are interested in male chastity there is a very real danger that the information they see is someone’s fantasy.
It’s great to talk about 6 week initial lock ups and permanent chastity but 24/7 locking can take months to achieve and even then there still needs to be safety unlocks.
So, if you are new to this world, take care. Speak to people who have been practicing for a long time and admit that things go wrong. Otherwise you may lose more than your fantasies, you may permanently damage your dick.
This site is where we come to talk about male chastity and our take on it. Discussions regarding devices, length of lock up and hints and tips for tease, denial and punishments amongst others.
Occasionally there is a post about an actual relationship, a couple and their experiences in this journey. It’s not really a post that garners a lot of comments or attention because many are here when they are horny and looking for some relief or looking for the more extreme posts to feed their fantasies.
This is not one of these posts, this is a heartfelt message to all the guys out there who have come past the fantasy stage and now are the man that their partner has been looking for, sometimes for a long time.
To those guys who now are their ladies “partner” in word and deed, I say thank you. Thank you for realising that the more you give the more you get. Thank you for that that moment either before or after now when something rocks the foundation of your lady’s world and you are there to support her.
There are not many of you out there who are actually in this place in a relationship as the sites by their very nature are visited mainly on a temporary basis. However, those of you who are in such a situation, know that it is appreciated that you are now in a position where we can tell you we are struggling and know that you will not brush it off.
Why am I being so serious? My father is in the hospital recovering from a major operation. Lockit is not able to physically do anything to help me as my life revolves round work and hospital at present. His support emotionally has been a godsend and I wouldn’t be in the capable place I am right now without his help.
So, gentlemen, you know who you are, I thank you for understanding that sometimes it’s way more than the physical and if you get that, you are a true gentleman.
Another enquiry for a padlock with no keys. I think I may have to replenish my stock soon.
If you are looking to lock for Mistress Jules then why not purchase the padlock with no keys?
Simply send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org with your details and I shall reply with payment options. Then I can post a lovely small padlock to you that will fit nicely.
If you are really good I shall send the keys the very next week.
For a number of years I have been a member of the niche website Chastity Mansion. I was even a moderator for a while before that privilege was removed at the suggestion of a fellow mod to the new owner of the site.
After a while of staying away I was again invited to return as a moderator. I happily accepted this offer as I had missed the site and felt a certain affection for it as it was where Lockit and I met. The fellow mod who had previously suggested I was removed, was herself removed at this time. Cue petulant posts and uproar from her coterie.
Now she has returned, well I say she but as far as I know there is no one who knows for sure as she does not appear on the local fetish scene, saying she plays on the “international scene”. No one on the site has met her as far as we know yet she holds sway with an iron fist.
Should you displease her you will be accused of a vendetta against her, you will be part of a gang that stop her from expressing herself freely. Unfortunately her freedom of expression includes rudeness and borderline libelous statements.
Most recently she has taken a dislike to the products manufactured by a company who have membership on Chastity Mansion. This dislike has been seen in disparaging comments about their products. When asked by moderating staff to desist, she has posted more statements to show that her freedom of speech shall not be stopped.
This increasingly manic behaviour is starting to impact on my enjoyment of the site. If some action is not taken in the very near future to control this behaviour then I will no longer be a member of Chastity Mansion.
I have put this on my blog as I want to make sure this is out there before any accusations are made about why I may be leaving.
As you know there are normally a few chaste males in my life at any given time. Unfortunately, at this precise moment I have no chaste males at all, not one, I feel so deprived.
It is all in a good cause thankfully and all have valid reasons, some are work related and some medical, others personal. Normally I would have one or two unlocked for various reasons, this is the first time ever I don’t have one chaste male at all.
There was an enquiry at the dungeon via email which I have now replied to so hopefully that may come to pass and I can lock someone up soon. Otherwise, there may have to be some suffering if only to placate the sadist in me.
I think I may have to finish another book this weekend if I can’t find anyone who wishes to purchase a padlock or some lifestyle control. Having already written some of the most popular books available about Male Chastity I am sure I can expand my offerings to a wider range of kink.
Thankfully club is this weekend so there may be an opportunity to torture someone at least for a little while on Saturday night.
Maybe you should all lock yourselves up nice and tight to help me feel better, doesn’t that seem like a fabulous idea?
Hopefully I shall be able to reintroduce locking to my chaste males in the very near future, well at least for short periods of time. I can’t wait to hear those locks click shut again, don’t you wish you were here?
In this world of fetish and fantasy it is so easy to forget that a lot of the time it is real people on the other end of the screen. These people have hopes and fears the same as you and I and are normally just looking for somewhere they can safely belong.
That belonging can be to a forum, a club, following a blog, fetlife group etc. but wherever it is, it is supposed to be somewhere you feel safe to be yourself.
Unfortunately, all it takes is a couple of people within that group to make rude remarks or be less than supportive of other members and the group has lost its appeal. Members will drift away, no longer return or post and the lifeblood of the group changes and along with that the purpose of the group is changed.
Whether it is Dungeon Masters at a club who let a preferred member continue to violate consent or a forum where mods and admin ignore the derogatory remarks and rude behaviour of a member, the tone will change.
As the tone changes, so will the membership, new blood maybe good, if it is the kind of new blood you are looking for. If not, it may cause a chain reaction that leaves you with a place that is no longer recognisable as the safe all-inclusive place it once was.
Don’t stay silent when your safe place is being changed, stand up and be counted. If enough do that then you may be able to hold back that tide of change and keep your safe place safe.
How many times have you been horny and trying to get your partner interested only for it all to fall apart as she turns away from you, pleads a headache or just outright tells you to go away? These tips will help you become irresistible and increase your chances of some sexy time.
- Set the scene – This doesn’t mean flower petals on the bed and you lying there in a leather pouch. Your partner is much less liable to relax and enjoy herself if there are dishes in the sink and wet clothes in the washing machine, kids toys over the sitting room floor and trash to be put out. Before you think about having some sexy time, you need to make sure she is relaxed so make sure all the things at the top of her list are done, then she can lie back and enjoy.
- Smarten yourself up – Making an effort to impress is very seldom wasted on a partner. They know you and how you look day to day and so will notice if you have made an effort. Don’t make them think something weird is happening, just make sure you are clean and tidy and that your clothes are clean.
- Pay attention – How many times have you asked “How was your day?” and not listened to the answer, expecting the same old “it was fine”? Pay attention to your partner and ask pertinent questions about things that she has mentioned previously. If you only pay real attention to your partner when you want something she will know and will have her guard up on these occasions.
- Compliment your partner – Not only at the time you are hoping for some lovemaking but daily and sincerely. As you appreciate her more she will become more confident and happier in herself, this is a win-win situation for both of you.
- Don’t grope – I cannot overstate how quickly you will lose your partners goodwill if you go in groping. Females are slower to get aroused than males, they enjoy foreplay, especially kisses and cuddles, slow lingering moves, an appreciation of what is to come. Going in and grabbing breasts or ass is not going to turn on your partner and is more likely to give her a headache.
So there you have it, my first 5 tips to help you get your partner interested when you are looking for some sexy time.
If there are other tips and/or tricks you would like to see, why not put them in the comments section and I shall see what I can do.
I am sitting on the couch next to Lockit and we are both struggling to stay awake.
Lockit arrived in Glasgow on Thursday afternoon and came up to the Dungeon to meet me. We headed home about 4 and went out for something to eat. After a quiet night in we were ready for yesterday.
Full day in the Dungeon, Lockit visiting family. Then it was time to get ready for club. As we were both wilting by then Lockit suggested we book a hotel room for the night and save the hours drive home and then back in the morning. Have to say that was his best idea yet.
Club was quiet but fun, I was asked to show a young couple a bit about flogging, goodness I had forgotten how awful it is to be a newbie lol. Thinking you are going to hit one place and actually hitting somewhere completely different.
Eventually just after 2am we managed to leave club and make our way to the hotel. After a couple of drinks there it was time to sleep, barely wakening in time to get down to breakfast. It was a fabulous breakfast by the way.
Dungeon again whilst Lockit visited family then after 3pm we headed home. Dinner was of the throw in the oven variety – although we do have the most fabulous apple pie with ice cream for later.
We are now both sitting on the couch just waiting for it to be bedtime lol. Oh how the fetish life can exhaust you 😉
Time for apple pie I think Lockit – your turn to make tea x
It seems so long since I posted here, I barely know what to post. Things have changed so much from when I first started writing this blog. A fresh faced newbie who was learning by doing.
Looking back on those original posts I remember them fondly as they were the beginning of this fantastic new life I now lead. A life that has changed so much in the few short years I have been here.
It didn’t take long for me to realise that this new world was definitely for me. From online Keyholder to attending my first munch, then my first club, I revelled in this world of fetish and kink. Playing with anyone willing to let me spank/paddle/flog them, again learning by doing.
For those of you out there still not quite sure if this is for you, I would say give it a try. It is great to be able to read and chat about your fantasies with people you meet online, however taking that next step can make a whole world of difference.
Local munches are a great place to meet people, most can be found on the site “Fetlife”. Normally held in vanilla venues they are basically a load of likeminded people meeting for a drink or coffee. I think in my visits we have been a meet up group, book club, camera club etc when asked by bar staff or such.
Once you have taken that step just imagine how fabulous it would be if you could actually fulfil your fetish fantasy. Somewhere you could wear that PVC/latex outfit and have people admire you and ask where you found it. A place for all different types of BDSM practicioners to get together, practice, discuss and generally have a great time. That’s what clubs are for, also dungeon hire.
Learning by doing is also very important in male chastity, no point in looking for a keyholder if you are not able to lock for any more than a couple of hours. Practice first, make sure you are comfortable and can wear for a couple of days at least. Then at least you will be able to offer something to a prospective Mistress.