As anyone who has visited my site or spoken to me on other sites will know, I am relatively new to this world of chastity. This is why I decided to write my thoughts today whilst they are still fresh in my head.
On many of the sites I have visited there have been questions asked about how to get a partner interested in male chastity. This is normally from a guy who wishes to wear a device and have his partner be in charge of his orgasms.
Unfortunately a lot of the responses are words to the effect of “make her see” “show her what it can do”
Can I just say gentlemen that to the hard working usually exhausted woman of the beginning of the 21st Century as soon as your penis is mentioned it means it’s sexual, therefore a thing to give you pleasure not her. You need to approach this a different way.
In my opinion the last few years with the upsurge in the availabilty of porn and open sexualisation have turned a lot of women off as it seems that is all that is required. We are valued less for who we are and more for how often we can give you a sexual lift. This does not necessarily mean that is the way your partner sees you however the constant bomardment of sexualised content in all forms of the media can become wearing on someone who has to keep a family life going.
On date night, how many of you focus on your partners pleasure? Many I think have it in the back of their mind “I’m getting it tonight” which women can tell a lot of the time and it is a turn off,
So what to do? Focus on her, forget about the chastity, forget about sex and focus on your partner. When you do that and she mentions how fabulous you made her feel tonight – that is when you can mention that you didn’t want her to think tonight was all about sex. You wanted it to be about her. This is the mindset you have to start with and then introduce gradually the concept of chastity over a period of months. If you focus on her completely at certain times like date night or Focus Fridays then she will ask why you are not like that at other times.
This would be the ideal opportunity to say that you have been reading in different places that abstinence from orgasm makes a guy concentrate more on his partner’s pleasure and you have been practicing that to try and show her how much you care about her as a person.
This would be a very welcome change to many females from the “let’s try a new kink” approach which gives the impression it is all about you.
Now as I say this is just my opinion and one that I wanted to share whilst it was still fresh in my mind. I was luckily single when I found out about chastity and had time and the inclination to research it. It may be useful to you or it may not at least it is out there and may give you another option for trying to interest your partner in this new world.