As I learn more about this wonderful new world of chastity and submissiveness I have decided that a good mix is absolutely essential for both the domme and the sub. The right mix of dominance and submission, fun and seriousness, caring and disdain, all these things go into the mix which makes up this relationship. Whether in real life or online, there needs to be the right mix to ensure both parties get what they need from their time together.
Anyone new to the scene needs to be able to take time to find their way round and learn their likes and desires as well as their dislikes and hard limits. As a newbie myself, I have been on the receiving end of a variety of offers, some interesting and some not so much. Each of these was a milestone on my journey to finding out who I am and where I wanted to be. For a submissive I am sure it is much the same, contacting others to find out options and how to take those first steps without feeling you have got it all wrong.
I have found I like to get to know my guys, know what makes them tick but also know if they have had a bad day or week and how that is liable to affect them and our dynamic. I also want my guys to be interested in me and my life, especially as this is not a professional service, I need them to understand that I do this for enjoyment. Sometimes life will get in the way and I will not be able to give them the time they would like. That doesn’t mean I am not interested, only that I need some time to deal with real life situations before being able to relax and be the domme we both enjoy.
For some this approach is too personal, they prefer the strict and tightly regulated regime offered by others, allowing them to keep things compartmentalised more easily. There are dommes who want immediate and total submission with no questions asked, this combination I think would be a good mix.
To get the mix right takes time and knowledge, I can only hope as time goes on, I acquire that knowledge to ensure a fulfilling and enjoyable time for my guys and myself.