I was pleasantly surprised when I joined this world of kink at the unwritten rules that everyone I have met seems to abide by. The simple yet ultimately most important rules that enable us all to enjoy this life of ours safe in the knowledge that it is pretty much self governing and we all abide by this unwritten code. It reminds me of the “Omerta” that everyone was talking about in the heyday of the Godfather films, this vow of silence, an inability to say anything that could incriminate anyone within your “extended family”.
One of the first questions I asked and I have heard other newbies ask is “what if I meet someone I know at a munch or club?”
Well as they are there probably for similar reasons to yourself it is pretty much accepted that you acknowledge their existence in that situation then pretty much don’t talk about it in day to day life.
Similarly if you meet in the street and one or both of you is with someone else, a polite acknowledgment whether by a slight nod or a quick hi, is more than acceptable. As is a wide eyed look to let the other know to please not approach.
I know myself that if I meet someone whilst out with my teens then all is well as they are aware of my social life. However if I am with my Mother then the wide eyed look will be thrown and I would hope there would be minimal acknowledement and no actual contact made.
This seems to have worked very well with most of the people I have met and I have read of similar on various groups and web pages. However what if it goes wrong?
What if, as recently happened to a good friend of mine, someone contacts you asking you to play then tells you they know who you are, uses your given name then tells you they are actually the partner of your friend. Obviously at this point questions were asked as to real life identity, this was refused and the profile deleted.
Now whether this person joined that particular site with the intention of finding my friend I am not sure, I am sure however that her life has just been turned on its head. This is pretty much akin to blackmail and is reprehensible behaviour from anyone.
So I put it to you, if you do not want to be outed in your local community, keep your face hidden in pictures you make available for public viewing. All it takes is for one individual to have a vague inkling to join such a group/site/forum with less than honourable intentions and your life may never be the same again.