I seem to remember what seems like forever ago saying that I didn’t want a submissive man, I already had kids, I certainly didn’t need any more responsibility.
I wanted to be with someone who was their own person, who when they gave themselves to me, did it because they wanted to and trusted me to know what to do with them.
As I get more involved in this lifestyle I find myself thinking a lot about pushing limits, taking each other to new places both for domme and sub. This is obviously a huge responsibility as a domme and there is also responsibility on the sub to ensure the domme knows their limits.
The first few times I locked someone in chastity, the thrill of hearing that lock click was just out of this world. Now I have come to also enjoy the thrill of attention and devotion to my pleasure. Distance locking is not easy as there are no nuances to catch on to, all you have is the written word. Real life locks are very different as you can hear and see every smile, pout, grump and cheer, things are easier to read. So now I almost get just as much a thrill from the interaction as I do from the click of the lock. It is my responsibility however to ensure that the locks are sensible and suitable for those going through them.
The first time I flogged someone was very strange, I was nervous and scared of causing some ill feeling between us. It took very little time, in fact the first time I walked forward to check and saw the grin on his face pretty much sealed it. I realised he enjoyed this and was eager for me to continue. He had been letting me know of his enthusiasm before the event however I was very conscious of how some things can seem like a good idea until you are actually doing them. (Let us never speak of the The Big One rollercoaster – ever).
So no matter how enthusiastic your submissive seems, it is your responsibility as a domme to check and double check just how well he is coping with what he asked for, or you asked of him. The way I see it, there is no quicker way to ruin a good partnership than by not ensuring that both sides are growing and thriving at the same pace. There is no excuse for shirking the responsiblity.