BDSM, Introducing A Partner, Mistress Jules Musings

The BDSM Shopping List

Do you have a BDSM shopping list?

That list of hard limits that you start off, those things that you don’t want.

Why not have a look at it, is it actually a list of hard limits or has it turned into a list of wants?

So many I have seen start off with the good intention of making a list for their partner of what they feel they really do not want to have as part of their dynamic.  Then for some reason this list seems to change part way through from what you don’t want into what you do want.

So let’s look at this for a moment from my point of view as a female.

As a couple we agree we want to get more involved in the BDSM scene, however to make sure we both enjoy it we agree that we must let each other know the hard limits that we have.

So it starts off with the usual suspects, the popular scat play, needle play, blood play, then it starts to deviate slightly.  You put down cuckolding, but quantify it with – I’d like to try it once but not as a lifestyle choice.  Then you add chastity but quantify it with – only when not at work or doing sports.

These are not hard limits you are putting down, these are things you want to do but only in the situation that you have stated.   This is a shopping list of what you want from your BDSM experience.

Please when trying to state hard limits keep it to those things you are not wanting to try under any circumstances.  This gives a base line for what is not going to be happening in your BDSM journey.  Once you have these then you are in the perfect place to start exploring what you do want to do.

It is also most off putting for a partner who is probably only just beginning their journey to be given a BDSM shopping list of what you want, no discussion, no agreement just this is what you want.  For many partners this would end the discussion before it began, this is a joint venture, a joint journey, make sure you don’t make the mistake of forgetting to ask what your partner desires before stating your wants.

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