In this world of fetish and fantasy it is so easy to forget that a lot of the time it is real people on the other end of the screen. These people have hopes and fears the same as you and I and are normally just looking for somewhere they can safely belong.
That belonging can be to a forum, a club, following a blog, fetlife group etc. but wherever it is, it is supposed to be somewhere you feel safe to be yourself.
Unfortunately, all it takes is a couple of people within that group to make rude remarks or be less than supportive of other members and the group has lost its appeal. Members will drift away, no longer return or post and the lifeblood of the group changes and along with that the purpose of the group is changed.
Whether it is Dungeon Masters at a club who let a preferred member continue to violate consent or a forum where mods and admin ignore the derogatory remarks and rude behaviour of a member, the tone will change.
As the tone changes, so will the membership, new blood maybe good, if it is the kind of new blood you are looking for. If not, it may cause a chain reaction that leaves you with a place that is no longer recognisable as the safe all-inclusive place it once was.
Don’t stay silent when your safe place is being changed, stand up and be counted. If enough do that then you may be able to hold back that tide of change and keep your safe place safe.